Rules for Handshakes

I hate shaking people's hands. It's not that I don't want to greet them nicely and professionally, but being a woman, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to shake hands.

Many women do the dainty, limp fish hand shake, which is why I'm sure men don't always know how to shake women's hands.

For example, I'll gage the gentleman and think about his personality, and I'll think he's going to have a hardy grip. I go in with a firm grip, and he's barely touching my hand... oops.

If I think he's a less aggressive person, I'll go in with a less firm grip, and then he's squeezing the life out of my hand... oops again.

Women are the worse! I have this client who is very loud, very stern, very knows-what-she-wants-and-she's-going-to-get-it, and she was buying a house site-unseen. When I finally meet her in person, she's definitely not what I would call a fragile person. I go in to shake her hand with a very aggressive grip from knowing her for the past 4 months, and I get the limp, dead fish... I was shocked. My hand was glued to hers and I couldn't release the grip. I felt so bad. I thought she would be coming in with the same grip.

And then there are those women that are dainty and very feminine and as I approach with my non-threatening grip, they're giving the firm grip, and I feel like an idiot.

What are the rules for a handshake??